Rank Your Fanhood

I saw a commercial on ESPN today that made me chuckle a little and also made me evaluate my sports fanhood. The commercial begins in a guy’s locker room at a local gym with one man bragging to another about how much sports he watched the weekend before.

Another man in the locker room who has overheard the conversation questions whether or not the guy really watched that much sports the previous weekend. The man that had been bragging about how much sports he watched asks the man if he is questioning his "fanhood."

While watching the commercial, I told myself that these men are obviously single. While my wife Tiffany would argue that sports has never taken a back seat in my life, it truly has. Before I got married if I wasn't playing or watching sports then I was working day and night, 7 days a week, covering them for my job.

So if I were to rate my own fanhood on a scale of 1-10, how would I rank? Basically, I look at sports fans in three categories.

1) Joe "Super" Fan - This used to be me. On a scale of 1-10, this type of fan definitely ranks as a 10. You eat, drink and breathe sports. You know the batting average of the Detroit Tigers' short stop, the assist-to-turnover ratio of the New York Knicks' point guard & which hot, "sleeper" team is going to make a run in this year's NCAA March Madness Basketball Tournament. You do not have a television series such as Grey's Anatomy or The Office that you follow because that would interfere with a live sporting event. Going out for dinner involves finding a sports bar with the NFL Sunday Ticket and $0.25 wings and a typical evening (more than likely alone) consists of you sitting in front of the computer watching a live gamecast of a game not televised, checking all of three of your fantasy teams, while flipping back-and-forth on the television between the two games on ESPN and ESPN 2. Again, this used to be me.

2) Joe “Casual” Fan - Most people reading this website fall into this category. On a scale of 1-10, depending on how passionate you are, you rate between 5-7. As a casual fan, you can name all 32 NFL football teams, you know all 5 of the major BCS Bowl Games (Sugar, Orange, Rose, Fiesta, BCS National Championship Game) and you always watch those "can’t-miss-games" while sacrificing the Tuesday night TNT NBA game between the Sacramento Kings & Memphis Grizzlies to spend some quality time with the wife.

3) Joe “Super Bowl” Fan – Depending on how hard he tries, Joe “Super Bowl” Fan rates between a 1 & 3 on a scale from 1-10. You usually only hear from Joe “Super Bowl” at certain times of the year, the Super Bowl being one of those. This type of fan hears an obscure stat on the radio two days before the big game and then goes around repeating it to the casual and super fan for two straight days leading up to the game. He pretends to have watched the entire NFL season and out of nowhere mysteriously has some incite to the game. Joe “Super Bowl” Fan also applies to the office secretary who wins the office pool by picking the teams that she “knows” and “likes.”

After evaluating all three types of fans, I have to say that I fall somewhere in between Joe “Super” Fan and Joe “Casual” Sports Fan. On a scale of 1-10, I probably come in at about a 7. I no longer have the time or energy to memorize the RPI of this year’s “bubble” teams but you can bet I’ll be one of the 37% of sports fans that call in sick to work on the first day of March Madness.

P.S. – 76% of all stats are made up on the spot.